Your Wedding Guide: Getting Married at St. Joseph’s
Before you call to book your wedding, please read this guideline first. After reading it, and signing the form indicating that you understand, you will get a call from us at St. Joseph’s (affectionately known as St. Joe’s) to select a tentative date for your wedding.
But before anything else, you will be invited to meet Fr. Andy Boyer, OMI, the parish priest or Deacon James Kubina for a friendly and frank pre-nuptial interview. It is an occasion for them to get to know you, and your intended spouse, better.
Among the questions that will be asked:
1)Have either of you ever been married before? If the answer is yes, then there are some procedures we have to go through before finalizing the booking of a date.
2)Are you a member of the parish? Either yes or no are correct answers.
3)My fiancé(e) is not Catholic. Can we still get married in the church? The answer is yes.
If yours is going to be an interfaith or ecumenical marriage, that is, a Catholic marrying a person of another faith or a Christian from another Christian denomination, you must know the following:
The non-Catholic party is not required to become a Catholic. As a couple, your intentions must be clearly known to each other. That is why a discussion of views on faith, likely future children and practises will be part of the pre-nuptial interview. Also discussed will be the form of the liturgy for the day.
The marriage liturgy for interfaith or ecumenical marriages consists of a liturgy of the word (scriptures, prayer, and homily) and the marriage rite (vows, blessing and exchange of rings, and prayer).
Marriage – sacred and serious
At St. Joseph’s, it is the hope that marriage, like all sacraments, will be celebrated within a particular faith community. Either a priest or a deacon will preside at the celebration. But the bride and groom are the primary ministers of the sacrament. We affirm this role in the ritual through actions, words and the couple’s placement in the rite.
Entering into the sacrament of matrimony is a sacred and serious undertaking. By choosing to celebrate this within the Christian community, you acknowledge your commitment to Christian beliefs. Or, if one of you is of another faith or no faith, then by having your marriage here, you acknowledge that you enter into this rite with respect for the Christian Faith.
Here at St. Joe’s, we recognize that men and women come to marriage as equal partners into a covenant relationship with God. The rite takes on this same characteristic as it was originally intended. Rituals speak of a lived reality and embody our beliefs.
Thus it is our expectation that the couple who witness to their love through the sacrament act as the primary ministers and therefore:
1)Arrive early to greet their guests at the door.
2)Join the priest at the entrance to be welcomed and cross the threshold to the rite together.
3)As primary ministers of the sacrament, the couple face the community and their guests, assisting the priest or deacon in leading their guests in prayer.
Marriage Prep
At St. Joe’s, we will help you prepare for this sacrament through the marriage preparation process. Marriage Prep also involves volunteering in the parish community- whether for St. Joe’s Supper Table or in one of the other ministries such as Sunday Greeters.
Through Marriage Prep a couple can be an example of Christ’s hospitality. Many of our family and friends or guests no longer attend church or are not Christian or Catholic. Thus, we recommend strongly that the wedding liturgy itself take the form of the Liturgy of the Word, the Rite of Marriage and blessing as the greatest sign of unity. You will be offered guidance on the celebration of the Eucharist.
The Marriage Prep program consists of:
1)Answering a questionnaire,
2)Connecting with the Parish Coordinator regarding your volunteer time,
3)Selecting the music with Jamie Loback our music director,
4)Arranging a date for the prenuptial interview and rehearsal time.
Marriage Prep helps you better prepare for a marriage based in faith and community and to help build on your already strong foundation of communication and relationship building skills. It is designed to explore some of the demands and responsibilities of a faith-based marriage, and to examine your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about your marriage.
You will also have a choice of readings at Mass. When selecting your readings, we invite you to consider how you express and see your spiritual life as a couple.
Are you a couple who strive for social justice, offer hospitality, volunteer in neighborhood, or show concern for ecology? By considering these, it may help in your choice of readings.
After the homily or reflection the couple is invited to stand in the midst of their guests and proclaim their vows of which they have some choices.
Then we all join together to pray for the needs of the world and for you as you begin married life. You will be invited to prepare your own prayers of the faithful. Direction will be given here as well as suggestions and an outline.
After the prayers, we pray the Our Father and share the sign of peace, followed by the signing of the register and a blessing.
Documents Required
After your first meeting with Fr. Andy you will be asked to provide your Baptismal Certificate and your marriage Licence.
Specifically, the copy of the Catholic party’s baptism certificate must be dated not more than six months prior to the date of marriage. For non-Catholics, the requirement is a photocopy of the baptismal certificate and a letter stating that the person has not been married before. To get your updated baptism certificate please contact the church where you were baptised. There may be a small fee associated with the processing.
The marriage Licence must be obtained from Ottawa City Hall at least three months before the ceremony. For more information contact the City Hall of Ottawa at 613-580-2400 for pre-recorded directions and information. http://www.ottawa.ca/residents/permits/marriage/index_en.html
The Wedding Liturgy
At St. Joe’s, the wedding liturgy consists of the greeting and introduction of the couple at the entrance of the church, the opening prayer, the Liturgy of the Word, the rite of marriage and the final blessing. Eucharist is not often celebrated as many guests are not Catholic and the sign of the Rite of Marriage itself is the focal sign of unity.
In a marriage celebrated in a Christian context, readings from Scripture take precedence. Scriptural readings form the core of those used in a wedding celebrated at St. Joseph’s. Two readings at the wedding service will be from Scripture: the first, the choice of the gospel selections for weddings and the second, a choice of selections from either the Old or New Testaments. A third reading is optional. See suggested readings (link to wedding readings).
A wedding takes place within the yearly cycle of the Church, which has times and seasons of joy and glory, and seasons of reconciliation and peace. Generally, weddings are not scheduled during Advent or Lent.
Opening Procession Options:
1)The bride, groom, and whole wedding party as well as all guests meet in the entrance where the opening rites take place. The procession, led by the priest, moves into the church.
2)The bride and groom and their families and attendants gather at the church entrance. The priest greets them there with the opening rites before going in to the church.
3)The priest leads the procession, followed by the attendants, then the groom with his parents, followed by the bride with her parents.
The couple, through the liturgy, its rites, actions and words, speak about the equality between the man and woman as they unite in marriage.
Bilingual Liturgies
When appropriate, bilingual liturgies are encouraged. You will be expected to organize the prayers in advance with the celebrant. Both Fr. Andy and Deacon James are fluent in English and French.
The Rehearsal
You must book your wedding rehearsal in advance. Make sure that the celebrant for the wedding, the priest or deacon, is informed. The rehearsal usually is held on an evening or two before the actual day.
The entire wedding party should be involved in the rehearsal, It is an opportunity to walk through some of the elements. For example, this includes the procession in and out of the church, placement for the exchange of vows, and signing the required papers. It is an opportunity for the readers to become familiar with the readings and with the sound system.
Music in the Marriage Liturgy
Music is the voice of the soul. It greatly enhances the celebration of marriage. It uplifts the spirit of prayer and encourages those who are assembled to make an expression of faith.
Before any music is chosen, a good look at the marriage rite is essential in order to understand when and what types of music are appropriate.
Start by selecting the readings to be proclaimed. Once chosen, your readings can be the guide in selecting the music and prayer texts.
Wedding music, like all Church music, requires a level of artistic integrity. Three key questions could be posed in this regard:
1.Is the music suited to the nature of this religious celebration?
2.Is the music technically, religiously, and expressively suitable?
3.Will this music help those attending to pray?
The Music Director
Jamie Loback, Music Director, St. Joseph’s, oversees all music used in the liturgical events of the parish.
Jamie will meet with you to assist in the selection of music as well as rehearse with any soloists, both vocal and instrumental, if required. You may have a family member or friend provide the music for your wedding. Jamie will complete and approve the music selection.
Regardless of how meaningful love songs or ballads may be to you, these are best enjoyed at the reception. Music for the wedding liturgy must be sacred in its quality and inspiration. Hymns and other forms of liturgical music are appropriate as well as many selections from the canon of western “classical” music. However, congregational singing is the expected norm.
Should you arrange to use a music source other than from our music director, the music must still be approved by him. A fee of $100 is for the music director’s services. He will meet with your musicians prior to the rehearsal to review the music selection, attend the music rehearsal and help the musicians set up, and coordinate and set up the appropriate instruments and sound equipment for the wedding itself.
No Confetti or Rice
Since your wedding is a religious ceremony, ostentatious shows of flowers, candles, and other decorations should be avoided. Flowers are generally set on either side of the altar and on stands. Pew bows are best set up to be tied to the pews or to use a clip. Tape is not to be used on the pews as it disfigures the wood.
Please advise your guests that confetti, rice, flower petals or any other thrown objects are not to be used on church property, inside or out.
You are responsible for removing all pew bows and flowers after the wedding. It is a good idea to designate a person to do this. Often after the wedding everyone is a little excited and sometimes the flowers are forgotten.
With the nature of the space, the most effective use of flowers is to have two arrangements on pedestals. Check with your florist for appropriate pedestals for the size of your arrangement.
Water and humidity
It is helpful to bring a supply of water for the bride and groom, preferably in a re-usable water bottle as bottled water is detrimental to the environment. We will keep the kitchen in the church entrance open so your quests can get water from our taps.
Photographs
Photographs or videos may be taken as the wedding party enters the church and leaves, but not to the detriment of the movement of the bridal party or the priest, or deacon, who is presiding.
During the actual liturgy, photos may be taken only by the official photographer (professional or amateur). The same applies to video photography. The photographer should be inconspicuous, and positioned at the sides or in a place that is not intrusive or in the way of the ritual itself. This is respectful to the church and the ritual as well as to your guests.
Children warmly welcomed
Children bring a natural life and enthusiasm to any event. However, for their safety and care it is a good idea to have one of your adult attendants ensure that the children are in safe hands.
Donations and Fees
The members of the parish welcome you and are grateful for your decision to be married at St. Joseph’s, a faith community that has served urban Ottawa for more than a century and a half. We offer a members fee and a non members fee.
Members
We invite you to be an active part of that faith community. You may wish to join one or more of our many volunteer ministries — e.g. supporting supper table, women’s centre, refugee outreach, pastoral care — that provide an opportunity to serve for social good.
There are unavoidable expenses that must be met. For instance, the administration and music fee for your wedding at St. Joseph’s is $450.00. The marriage prep course is offered for $75.
When historically determining the amount of an offering to churches, the “tithe” became a basic measurement. The tithe was usually expressed as 10 percent of your earnings and divided between the church you attend ( 5% and the charit(ies) or your choice 5%)
Ten percent may seem like a lot of money. If that is too much then calculate it at a lower percentage, an amount you as a couple consider to be fair. We make no demands on your offering. This is a gift you determine as a couple and is freely offered to the parish as part of the support of the work of the community and in gratitude to God.
Wedding Offering
At your initial visit when you meet with Fr. Andy, you will be given two envelopes for your wedding offering. The offering is then presented at the time of the wedding.
Often people will give a portion of the cost of their wedding, but as a couple, you will
decide the amount you wish to give as a sign of gratitude.
We suggest you divide the offering into two portions, one for the work of the parish and one for a charity of your choice that reflects the charities or causes you already support.
An offering is actually a prayer of gratitude to God for the love you have found in each other. In biblical times, people would take the best of their herd, or harvest and offer to God in gratitude. Often this gift was shared communally especially with those in need.
In essence, that’s what we are doing today — sharing with those most in need.
Non- Members
If you choose not to be a member of the parish, but still wish to use our services, the church and music non -refundable fee is 1500.00 and the marriage prep fee is $150.00 per couple. This fee is paid at the time of your first meeting. No dates will be booked until the fee is paid.